ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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