There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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