Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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