i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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