i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
