And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Randomize
