Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
be right there i have to get my cape
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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