I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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