my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just had sex on a roof
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
