Cold hands, warm shart.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
honey bunches of taint.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm too high and old for this...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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