I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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