i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize