Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
