you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
