You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
