Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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