Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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