I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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