oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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