It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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