i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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