i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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