I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
