Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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