I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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