Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
