Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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