I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
