You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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