how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
