She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
