You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
