just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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