D3 body, D1 cock
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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