My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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