If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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