Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
