It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
