I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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