38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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