yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
how does that bad decision feel?
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