Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
