just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
