Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
