A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
where are my eyebrows?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
