we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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