Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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