so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
