why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
