If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
