I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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