Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Houston, we have a squirter
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
