found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
