Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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